It can come as a huge surprise for couples in the wedding planning process to learn that having a wedding does not mean the same thing as making a marriage. Pause for moment, please, and read that sentence one more time. Having a wedding does not mean the same thing as making a marriage.
But it’s true.
Deciding with your partner that you’d like to get married frequently leads immediately into wedding plans, with research on wedding gown silhouettes and investigation into the etiquette of seating charts feeling suddenly incredibly important. It’s easy to get pulled into this exclusive world in which the “bride” and “groom” identity feels like royalty. The deeper you get, the more it all focuses on the culminating event – the wedding day itself.
What does this mean for couples?
It varies widely, but can result in a feeling of disconnection, of distraction, of frustration, and sometimes even loneliness and resent. If the focus, leading up to the big day, has been mostly on the wedding and not on the marriage, it can be especially difficult, as a void will exist that was previously filled with wedding plans.
What can be done to safeguard yourself and your partner against this trap? Luckily, many tactics exist, and your relationship style, needs, and values will help you and your partner determine what is right for your relationship and your wishes for marriage.
In this blog, we’ll dive into holistic wedding planning, and learn more about how it can benefit couples who are pursuing vibrant, committed marriages, and not just looking to have a wonderful wedding.
What is a holistic wedding planner?
All too often, couples approach the aisle with the assumption that theirs will be the perfect marriage, that their one-of-a-kind love will always be enough, and that maintaining their relationship while taking care of themselves as individuals will be easy. A holistic wedding planner, from the beginning, supports a stronger, more resilient relationship by asking couples to challenge those assumptions. They’ll then do work to understand the deep beauty and commitment being celebrated in the wedding itself, so that the spotlight focus is on the relationship holistically.
Holistic relationships
Some holistic wedding planners, such as Stephaney Campbell, owner and lead planner at Inspired Weddings, are certified as marriage mentors. Stephaney uses the Happy Love Method, which was created by Stephaney’s mentor, life/business coach, and friend Hailey Patry, to guide couples through their marriage preparation journeys. As one of only a handful of certified Happy Love Method mentors, and the first to have become certified, Stephaney also knows from personal experience just how meaningful the process can be.
Holistic wedding planning also acknowledges the sources of conflict and stress in a couple’s relationship as they prepare for marriage. Stress can come from all directions - family growth, finances, professional shifts, misunderstandings and more, and its existence in your relationship is very normal, and not a sign of failure, as many believe.
A holistic approach considers this stress during the wedding planning and marriage preparation process, and guides couples to work together through times and instances of stress, so that it might actually strengthen the relationship over time.
There’s more to it
Believe it or not, holistic wedding planning can go even another step deeper. We’ve already explained how holistic wedding planners zoom out from the conventional wedding-day-focused approach to a more relationship-focused approach. But there’s even more to it than that. Zoom out even further, and they can take a big-picture, environmental-impact approach!
Many couples value environmental sustainability and take steps to foster resiliency in their lives together – why should that value be left out of their wedding and marriage preparation? By employing an ever-growing list of tactics and approaches to reduce single-use items, unnecessary waste, overuse of limited resources, and more, holistic wedding planners assist couples with finding a balance of limiting impact on the environment and not sacrificing luxury, style, or convenience.
Working with a holistic wedding planner will likely feel different from working with a conventional wedding planner. We’ve already introduced some of the reasons why – let’s go a little deeper and look at the top 3 benefits of working with a holistic wedding planner.
Approaching your relationship with a wide-angle lens, a holistic wedding planner will be invested in you as a couple at a deeper level than just for the purpose of planning and coordinating your wedding. You can be sure that the approach they take will have your long-term or even timeless best interest at its core, rather than any passing trends.
Since you’ll work closely with your holistic wedding planner and may even pursue marriage coaching, you can count on them to be more aware of concerns or conflicts with family members or guests at the wedding and may be able to anticipate or respond to challenges or requests that may arise.
Rather than hosting a cookie-cutter wedding, you’re more likely to have an event that truly and intentionally reflects your values as a couple celebrating commitment when working with a holistic wedding planner. “Because it’s always done that way,” simply isn’t in the vocabulary of these types of out-of-the-box and compassionate individuals!
As we’ve already said, it’s not uncommon for couples approaching their wedding to become caught up in the big day’s details, and forget about the actual commitment they’re celebrating. After working with a holistic wedding planner, it’s more likely that you’ll have deepened your understanding of your partner and will have, in a way, invested in your relationship so that the joy that bubbles up like an uncorked bottle of champagne will continue to flow even after your “I do’s” and after the last guest leaves the dance floor.
We’re not saying it’s easy – love is frequently work, requires upkeep and sometimes compromise, but the joy of a strong commitment celebrated with your loved ones is amazing to behold.
It’s About Love, After All
One final thing we love about holistic wedding planner – their job isn’t done after you and your brand-new spouse depart for your first married night together. Although not always the case, many couples meet again (or even continue coaching services) with their holistic wedding planner after their wedding. There’s a lot to decompress after an event like that and meeting with someone who’s supported you through the process can be cathartic.
If you’re interested in learning more about Inspired Weddings’ holistic wedding planning services, email hello@inspired-weddings.ca. We’re excited to help you on your way to an inspired event!
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